The Client/Therapist Dynamic.

Insight into Participating in a Positive Therapeutic Relationship.

By Dr. Gregory Lyons, PsyD, LCPC.
01/13/2026

When people decide to begin therapy, they may look for practical details such as credentials, the insurance they accept, and the type of therapy the therapist practices. This can be a very intimidating process to go through, and it is sometimes done when a person feels they are at their lowest.  This article is to help individuals understand that, though these items are something that needs to be checked, it is also important to be mindful of the nature of the relationship they are about to enter.

It can be seen that therapy is not something that is a process to be applied to a person; when it is successful, it is something that unfolds between two people.  

A therapist should not represent a parent figure, a life coach, or a best friend to the client. They are not there to give orders, make decisions, or prescribe a version of who a client should become. If they were, this would not help the client grow, be active in their own maintenance and practices to combat their negative behavioral issues. A therapist is an educated professional whose role should be to help a person understand their own thoughts, emotions, and patterns of behavior so that the client can make more conscious choices about the changes they wish to make for themselves.

Therapy can be seen as a process that involves vulnerability. The therapist should not just bring clinical knowledge, professional language, and training, they should also provide a concept that is called unconditional positive regard. This means that a therapist approaches the client with respect, nonjudgment, and emotional steadiness, regardless of the client’s history, identity, or struggles. The therapist’s role is not to evaluate a client’s worth or impose personal values, but to provide a stable, accepting environment in which the client can safely explore difficult thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

The client brings something just as important; it can be said that when a client and a therapist sit in the same room, the therapist is not the expert; the client is. They only understand and present knowledge of their own lived experience, emotions, history, and inner world. Within a healthy therapeutic dynamic, this relationship can help mitigate two forms of expertise in balance and acceptance. The therapist should not be seen to dominate the process, and at any point, the client should not be expected to surrender their own thoughts, wants, needs, or desires. The work should be collaborative, guided by the client’s goals, values, and lived understanding of themselves.

This is why an active cognitive realization should be evident to both the therapist and the client during the therapeutic process. It can be said that many therapists carry a particular way of seeing the world. After all, we are just human. Their training may be rooted in one primary treatment model, such as cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or somatic approaches. They may come from a cultural background that shapes how they think about family, emotional expression, independence, or responsibility. These influences should not be seen as inherently good or bad, but a client should take these elements to heart and understand how they may affect their therapeutic odyssey, and if they feel that it is something that feels right to them. Again, they are the expert.

For some clients, a direct, structured, goal-oriented approach feels stabilizing. For others, it feels constricting or invalidating. Some people want to explore emotions deeply; others want practical tools to manage daily life. When there is a mismatch between what the client hopes for and what the therapist naturally offers, therapy can begin to feel uncomfortable in ways that are hard to name.

An interesting example that seems to be trending in therapeutic practices and reflects some of the changes brought about by the insertion of AI into our world is that some clients use artificial intelligence to “check” what they discussed in their session with their therapist. They may remember an incident or a subject discussed in a session as an AI engine to see whether the therapist's response was accurate, appropriate, or fair. This can be looked at from two angles. One could ask whether this was done by the client, out of curiosity about the therapeutic process, or as a cautionary task to ensure they are on the right path, and to serve as an educational tool to help them better understand their diagnosis and find other approaches to meet their care. But this can also reflect a subconscious act initiated by the client, as they may feel they do not understand the therapeutic process they are involved in, or that their therapeutic experience is not progressing along a path they do not understand. In this example, the ideal situation would involve the client bringing this concern to the therapist and discussing it so they may change their approach or delve deeper into how to better accommodate the client for a richer therapeutic relationship.

When a client feels fully understood and respected, they are usually able to bring their confusion, frustration, or disagreement directly into the therapy room. When they do not feel that safety, they may look elsewhere for reassurance. The use of AI in this way is not the core issue; it is a sign that the client is trying to make sense of a relationship that feels unclear or unsettled.

This matters because therapy cannot function well when doubts and reactions remain unspoken. When clients do not feel able to say, “That didn’t feel right,” “I don’t understand why we’re focusing on this,” or “I think I need something different,” the therapeutic process can quietly stall. This is not a personal failure of the client, but often a signal that the communication dynamic between therapist and client needs to be adjusted. Therapy is meant to serve the client.

Therapists are human, and with this being said, in some instances, despite their training, they may not be free of bias. Some may lean heavily on one modality even when another might fit better. Some may interpret a client’s behavior through their own cultural or personal lens, which could not be appropriate for the client's care. It can be said that sometimes it may align well with a client’s needs, but it is important to maintain the idea that clients are allowed to notice this and to question whether the approach they are receiving truly matches what they are hoping to gain from therapy.

The goal of therapy is not obedience or compliance. It is growth, understanding, and the capacity to make meaningful changes. A therapist supports that process by offering perspective, structure, and emotional safety—not by acting as an authority figure who knows what is best for someone else’s life.

Part of ethical therapy also means recognizing professional limits. If a client is struggling with an issue that falls outside a therapist’s training, experience, or scope of practice, the therapist has a responsibility to seek appropriate consultation, pursue relevant education, or, when necessary, refer the client to another qualified provider who has the training or credentials needed to provide proper care. This is not a failure of therapy; it is how professional standards protect clients.

At the same time, ethical responsibility does not allow a therapist to avoid or abandon a client because of personal discomfort, bias, or unwillingness to engage with the client’s experience. Therapists are expected to examine and work through their own limitations, so those reactions do not interfere with the client’s care.

Ultimately, the most important question in therapy is not whether the therapist is always right. It is whether the relationship allows the client to feel safe enough to explore, question, and change. Being thoughtful about that relationship is not disloyal or avoidant. It is one of the most responsible things a client can do when they decide to enter therapy.